Ruby visor, no brain
by Nightcrawler III
Summary: Logan plans a funny prank on Scott. He places a potion in Scott's soda. The potion makes Scott dumb. But even though Scott gets dumb, he all of a sudden becomes a gentleman. Just when Logan is having fun, the prank goes way too far.
1. The prank

Ruby Visor, No Brain

This is my first movie fic, so I hope you all like it.

It was an ordinary day at the Xavier Institute. Cyclops/Scott Summers dressed in his Black X-Man uniform, and he wore his visor (the one from X2, but it has two special black buttons on the top left and top right corners of the visor, that enable Cyclops to shoot his optic blasts, without pressing the standard buttons on his visor, and it has accurate aim, and control of his beams, and beam size.) He, Wolverine (Logan), Nightcrawler (aka: Kurt Wagner), and Beast went into the Danger Room. Beast controlled all the actions in the Danger Room, while Cyclops, Wolverine, and Kurt went into the room to have a blast.

Cyclops blasted the robot simulated sentinels with ease(due to auto-aim). Then Wolverine jumped up and cut a simulated sentinels head off. Then Cyclops blasted the simulated sentinel in front of Wolverine, just before it squished him. Then just when they thought they were finished, 5 simulated soldiers surrounded Cyclops. Cyclops blasted 3 of them. But just when the remaining simulated soldiers were about to attack Cyclops, Nightcrawler butts in and says, "Vneed help my friend." Then Kurt/Nightcrawler did a Teleport flurry (teleporting dropkicks) to the two simulated soldiers behind Cyclops. "Thanks Kurt." Scott said. "Petition." Kurt replied. "Phew. That was a blast." Scott said in weary happy tone. "We should do this more often you know." Wolverine added. "Indeed." Cyclops replied.

Cyclops and his compatriots were surprised that Professor X came to watch them. "Good job X-Men." X stated. "Thank you Professor." Scott replied. "Now, since you guys worked so hard, I suggest that you all should head to the dining room of the mansion and feast." Prof. X stated. "Oh and Scott. Jean is dying to see you." the Prof. Added. "Tell Jean, I'll be on my way." Scott said happily. "You got it Scott." X replied. "See you later guys." Scott said to Logan and Kurt. "Bye." Logan and Kurt replied.

"Before we go eat, I'd like to see what Hank's cookin." Logan said in an interested tone to Kurt."I'd like to see too." Kurt replied. "Then let's go." Logan added. Then Logan and Kurt went to Beast's/Hank's lab. While they were inside, Logan found this red liquid. "Well, I wonder what this does?" Logan pondered. "Me too." Kurt added. Then Beast came in and said, "This is a special potion of mine." "So what. What does it do?" Logan asked keenly to Beast. "This potion can make a person dumb, but yet it can make a person express a hidden personality that he or she have." Beast replied. "Cool. Can I take a sample of it?" Logan asked sarcastically. "Okay, but please don't drink it." Beast replied. "Thanks furball." Logan said. "You're quite welcome." Hank stated.

Then Logan and Kurt had a normal talk."So Logan, vwhat do you want to do with this thing my friend?" Kurt asked. "I'd like to put this thing in something like a soda." Logan replied. "Okay and vwho do want to drink the soda?" Kurt asked again. "I want visor boy to drink it. I've wanted to see how he'd act if he were dumb." Logan replied in a mellow tone. "Plus, I've always wanted to pull a funny prank on teacher's pet." he added. "I happen to be a bit of a prankster to my friend." Nightcrawler stated in a funny tone. "That's good, because I need a huge favor from you." Logan said. "Vwhat is the favor my friend?" Kurt asked. "After I mix the potion in this Dr. Pepper soda, I need you to give this drink to Cyke." Logan answered. "You got it my friend." Kurt replied. "Now let's have some fun." Logan said as he got the glass cup ready.

After he poured the Dr. Pepper into the cup, he poured half of the potion into the cup. He noticed that the potion mixed well, and the Dr. Pepper was still black and that the soda was looking good. "This is too easy." Logan said to himself.

Then he joined Professor X, Scott, Jean, Rogue, Iceman, Gambit, Kurt, Colossus, and Beast in the dining room to eat. Peter/Colossus made very delicious ribs, while Rogue and Bobby/Iceman bought 3 boxes of pizza for them and the others. "Great job kid." Logan said. "Thanks Logan." Rogue replied as she went over and hugged him. "Thank you for that." Logan stated.

Then Logan noticed that Cyclops wore his tan pants, and his green long sleeve shirt, with a tan shirt under it (the outfit in X-Men: Evolution), and his nice ruby quartz sunglasses (the ones he wears in the X-Men movies). "These ribs are delicious Peter." Cyclops said. "Thank you." Peter replied. Thenwhile they ate, Kurt gave Scott the Dr. Pepper. "Thank you for my drink Kurt." Scott said as he held his arm around Jean. Jean wore black leather pants, and a nice red shirt that showed her cleavage, and a nice black leather jacket. "You are very welcome." Kurt said in a happy tone. Then Scott drank the soda and he liked it. "This drink is very delicious." Scott said. Then Scott started to notice how beautiful she was, but in an intimate kind of way. He looked at her face, and thenhe touched her long red hair. Then he asked, "Hey Jean. How would you like to go to the movies with me?" "I'd like to go Scott." Jean replied as she kissed him. "Well guys I'll see you later." Scott said as he held Jean's hand. "Bye." Logan and everyone said. "I sure can't wait to see how dumb he can really be." Logan said to himself secretly.

Jean and Scott had a wonderful time at the movies. Then before they went back inside the mansion, they saw a full moon together. Scott and Jean stared at each other lovingly. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Scott asked in a romantic voice. Jean blushed and then said, "I don't know about me, but you are very handsome." Then as Scott stared at her, he kissed her passionately. "I don't know what's gotten you in such in a saucy mood." Jean said as they ended the kiss gently. "I feel this way, because I love you." Scott said. "I love you too Scott." Jean said back at him. Then they kissed and made love to each other all night long in their room. Scott has no idea of what is about to happen to him.


	2. Stupidity Begins

Cont.

As I said earlier, Scott and Jean had a wonderful time yesterday. While they slept, Logan and Kurt planned out the phases of the prank. "Hey Kurt." Logan said. "Yes Logan." Kurt replied. "This is the plan for the prank." Logan continued. "Okay, so vwhat do we do my friend?" Kurt asked. Then Rogue came in and she overheard Logan.

"Kid, what are you doing here?" Logan asked in a puzzled tone. "I just overheard you, and besides, I just wanted to get some juice." Rogue replied. "Hey kid, you don't mind if you can join us?" Logan asked in a kind tone. "Sure." Rogue replied. "Is your Bobby asleep?" Logan asked. "He is." Rogue replied. "So what you guys up to?" Rogue asked. "We pulled this prank on visor boy." Logan replied. "You mean shades." Rogue replied. "Hey, I like that nickname you called Cyclops." Logan interposed. "Okay so what did you to Cyclops?" Rogue asked. "You see. I made him drink this potion that would make him dumb. And that I've always wanted him to lighten up." Logan replied. "Swell." Rogue said in a mellow tone. "So do you need help?" she asked.

"Do you know where Cyke places his visor?" Logan asked. "In the subbasement." Rogue answered. "But where in the subbasement?" Logan asked. "It is right next to his uniform., but in a special shelf." Rogue replied. "Thanks kiddo." Logan said in a happy tone. "Your welcome. Oh, and one more thing, your secret is safe with me." Rogue said in a friendly tone as she hugged him. Logan liked the hug she gave him.

"Well Kurt let's have some fun." Logan stated. "Definitely." Kurt said as he teleported to Scott's room. "Ugh, what's with all the ruckus?" Scott asked in dumbfounded tone. But then he held Jean and slept. Then Kurt grabbed Scott's glasses, and teleported out of the room.

"The fuzzy one has left the building." Kurt said happily. "Tone it down a notch." Logan said in a funny, but yet serious tone. "Darn! I forgot to get his visor." Kurt said frantically. "That's even better." Logan said in a sick, but funny tone. "Get Hank's glasses, and put them in Cyke's room." Logan ordered. "Sounds good to me." Kurt replied.

Then he teleported to Hank's lab. He saw Hank sleeping. Then he grabbed Hank's glasses, and once again he teleported to Scott's room. Kurt immediately put Hank's glasses at the table, where Scott's glasses was.

"It is complete." Kurt said. "Now to get some sleep." Logan said as he went to his room to sleep.

It was morning. Scott woke up. "Ah. Now to put on the shades." Scott said calmly. But as he opened his eyes, he blew up Hank's glasses. "Cool." Scott said in happy, but stupid tone. Then he left closed his eyes again, as he walked to the subbasement.

Then when he felt his uniform, he found the shelf that held his visor. Then he placed his visor on, but it was upside down. "Whoa." Scott said in an excited tone. Then he sang:

"The house is as nice as mice.

Wolverine's hair is nice, but mine is better."

Then he hummed and added to his song.

"And look my favorite show's on.

Under my room!"

Then Scott danced and hummed to this new song he sang. While he was humming, Logan saw him. Logan laughed like crazy. Then Scott continued his song:

"The chair. I sometimes doze on.

The hanky. I blow my nose on.

Hey look. My favorie show's on.

Under my room!

Under my room!"

Then he walked towards the shelf, and then Jean was walking. Then Scott added even more dumb things to his song:

"The shelf. I place my shades in. Wait a minute, I don't have shades. But I have my visor.

Stand back everyone I'm taking it off."

Then before the beam reached Jean, Logan grabbed her towards him. "What's going on?" she asked. "Your boyfriend is acting dumb." Logan replied. "What did you do Logan?" she asked in a mad, but kind tone. "I don't know." Logan replied. "Don't make me read your mind." she said in a serious tone. "Alright. Alright. I got this potion from Hank, and after I got it, I placed it in Cyke's drink, and then it made him dumb, but something else as well." Logan answered. "Well that explains things." Jean said in a satisfied tone.

Meanwhile Scott added:

"Hey where'd everybody go?" "They're all gone." Logan said sarcastically.

"Oh well. And look my favorite show's on.

Under my room!" Scott exclaimed.

"I won't tell anyone else Logan, but you have to at least tell Hank what happened." Jean said. "Okay. If his stupidity goes too far. I'll ask Hank for the antidote." Logan said. "Good." Jean replied as she walked towards Scott.

"Jean." Scott said in happy tone. He hugged and kissed her. "It's good to see you too Scott. Now where are those glasses of yours?" Jean asked. "Is it in my shelf?" Scott said in a funny voice. Then she found his glasses. "Put your shades on." Jean said. "Don't mind if I do my cherry pie." Scott said in a romantic tone. Then he put on his ruby glasses. "I look cool in these." he said joyfully. "I love you Jean." he said lovingly to Jean. "I love you too." Jean added. Then they kissed. "Now what can we do today my love?" Scott asked in a fancy tone. "I have no idea." Jean said as she held him. "Well let's have fun together." Scott replied. Then they held hands and hugged each other.

"Well that was fun." Logan said to Kurt when he teleported behind him. "Indeed." Kurt added. "I wonder what else we can do to goggle boy." Logan said in a ponderous tone. It's all fun and games for now, but it won't stay that way for long.


	3. Idiot or Ladies man?

Ch.3

Then after the fiasco that happened this morning, Hank woke up at noon. He all of a sudden notices that his glasses are gone. "Oh my gosh. Where are my glasses?" he asked in shock.

Then he asked Bobby, Rogue, and Gambit about his glasses. Then he frantically searched the house for his glasses. Then when he walked into Scott's room, he found the remains of what was once his glasses.

"Oh my God. There are my burned glasses. Burned glasses. There's my burned glasses!" Beast ranted. "My glasses are incinerated!" he ranted again. "Oh my God! My glasses are reduced to a rotting piece of poop! My glasses are covered in bile! Oh God!" Beast ranted in madness.

Meanwhile, Jean took a nap. Then Scott walked around the subbasement. While he walked, he saw that the door to Hank's lab was open. Then he made Hank's room a real mess. Then Logan stood from a distance, and watched Scott do the most insane things to Hank's room. He spilled all of Hank's chemicals. He spilled them on the floor, and on the walls of his lab. He even drank some of his chemicals (esp: the red looking ones.). It didn't even hurt him.

While Scott made Beast's room a disaster site, Logan was laughing up a storm. Then Scott took off his ruby glasses, and blasted Hank's chalkboard. The bottom half of the chalkboard remained, while the top half was reduced to a black crisp. Then Scott went back to his room.

"That was so cool." Logan said to himself. Then he left to the Day Room. Hank walked back to his room, with his burned glasses in his hand. Hank was about to scream his heart out. He honestly thought someone thrashed his room. "Oh my God, there's shit everywhere. Shit everywhere. There's shit everywhere!" Hank ranted. "My whole lab is covered in shit. Oh my God! He shit all over the walls! My whole lab is covered in bile! Oh my God!" Hank ranted frantically. Hank was so mad. He went to the nearest trash can, and he vomitted.

Then Logan came inside of what remained of Hank's lab. "Wolverine! Did you destroy my lab!" Hank asked in an upset tone. "No, but visor boy made this mess." "Oh no. You made Scott drink the potion!" Hank exclaimed. "I didn't have him drink all the potion." Logan interposed. "Oh and here is the remains of your potion." Logan added. "Phew. Now I should be able to make an antitode for Scott." Hank replied after he got the remains of his potion. "Since, when did you do this?" Hank asked. "Since yesterday." Logan answered. "Okay, since you gave me the potion. I should make the antitode, but it'll take 2 days to develop." Hank stated. "Sounds good to me." Logan added. "Now please let me clean up this mess my friend?" Hank said gently to Logan.

"Okay furball." Logan replied. Then Logan thought of how much more fun he could have with Scott in his dumb state. But then while he walked towards his room, Scott was dancing for Jean.

Jean was so happy, but yet surprised that Scott would do this kind of thing. Then Scott said, "Hey my beautiful angel." "Hello yourself stud." Jean replied. "I have a surprise for you." Scott said. "What is it?" Jean asked. "I got this soft white teddy bear for you." Scott answered as he gave the soft bear to Jean. "It is so beautiful. Thank you." Jean said in a happy tone. "Anything for you my dear." Scott said as he leaned in to kiss her. Scott touched Jean's breasts, and then Jean took Scott's shirt off, and touched his muscular chest, and then they kissed and made sweet love to each other again.

"That's kinda odd for geek boy to get some." Logan said to himself. Then he went to his room and slept wondering what else could possibly happen.


	4. The Final Insults

The Final Insults

Notes: The lines Beast said when he saw his messy lab were from Dumb and Dumberer.

It's been two days since Logan pulled the prank on Scott. Scott has been getting more and more dumber. Logan was enjoying every act of stupidity that Scott had committed.

Logan went over to Hank's lab. He saw that the lab was clean, and that it was well-suited for Hank again. "Nice work furball." Logan said. "It may have taken forever, but I finally got this place the way I want it." Logan noticed that Prof. X was next to Hank. "I know the joke that you pulled on Scott." Prof. X stated. "But How?" Logan asked in surprise. "Jean told me about it telepathically." Prof. X replied. "How is Scott's progress?" Prof. X asked Hank. "His stupidity is increasing more rapidly, unless we get the antidote to him." Hank answered.

"With the my quick progress, I managed to make the antidote." Hank added. The antitode was the same as the potion, but it was blue. "Oh and since I don't have the proper container, I have to put this in a Miller Lite Beer Bottle." Hank said. Then he half the antitode into the bottle, but it was mixed with the beer that remained. "Logan, do not do pull anymore pranks on Scott." Prof. X ordered. "Why?" Logan asked. "Because if you do, that might cause Scott to express outbursts of rage." Prof. X replied. "Okay." Logan said with his fingers crossed. "Good man." Prof. X said as he patted him with his right hand.

Then Logan went to Kurt's room. And Kurt immediately said, "I secretly overheard vwhat Hank and the Professor said." "I need one last favor from you." Logan said. "This better be it or else we are going to be in big trouble." Kurt stated. "I need you get a big glob of elephant poo." Logan replied. "Vwhat you gotta to be?..." Kurt said in a freaked out tone. "Just get it or I'll scratch you like a wet dog." Logan pleaded. "Okay. But this better be it." Kurt replied. "It will. Oh, and you'll be needing a gas mask and a shovel, and a big bucket." Logan stated sarcastically. "Ohhh. Vhere it goes." Kurt said as he teleported to the nearest zoo in New York.

While that happened, Scott was making a huge mess in the other rooms of the mansion. He messed everone's room, except his. Then out of all the rooms left, he made Storm's room the messiest. He took his ruby shades off and blasted her room like crazy. He was laughing like crazy, while he blasted. Then he blasted the bed in half. Storm's bed looked as if it was broken in half. "Then he destroyed all her masks, and vases. "Yahoo!" Scott ranted. Then he laughed like Dr. Evil.

Then he got 3 three-gallon bottles filled with root beer, and he drank them all. He drank them, and he didn't get fat at all. He did feel a little full. Then he ate all of Rogue's pizza. He laughed so hard. Just when he was about to eat on, Logan came and talked to him. "I see you did a stand up job." Logan stated sarcastically. Logan saw that half of the drawers were left open. "What do you need dude?" Scott asked in a stupid tone. "I need you to come with me." Logan replied. "I'll go with you man." Scott added.

Then Logan took him to the War Room. Then Kurt came in, and he gave Logan the elephant poo. "It was so gross, but I got it." Kurt stated as he coughed. "Good job. Now you can go doing what you normally do, and tell the others of my plan of getting the antitode to Scott." Logan stated. "Okay." Kurt replied in a relieved, but happy tone. Kurt was so happy right now. He just teleported back to his room, and then he talked with Rogue, Bobby, Peter, and Gambit.

Then Rogue asked him in the Day Room, "How was the prank?" "Yeah." Bobby and Gambit added on with Rogue. "It was fun and disgusting." Kurt replied. "I can't believe that Scott would drink 9 gallons of root beer." Bobby stated. "I agree, but how could he possibly he eat all my pizzas." Rogue said in a mild tone. "He is a real Russian man." Peter added. Then Jean came in and listened to Kurt's conversation. "Miss Grey, what a pleasant surprise. Please join us." Bobby stated. "I'd like to." Jean replied.

"Do you have a plan for giving Scott the antitode?" Jean asked gently. "I do." Kurt replied. "And I vneed you and the kid's help." he added. "You got it." Jean responded. "Kids I need your help in curing Scott." Kurt pleaded. "Okay, what do we do?" Rogue asked. Then Kurt told them the plan of how to get the antitode to Scott.

"Hey is that steak Logan?" Scott asked. "It's a special kind of steak." Logan answered as he covered his nose, and put the elephant poo on Scott's plate. Then Scott ate the poo like crazy. "This is kinda delicious." Scott said in a happy, funny tone. "Yeah." Logan said as he was about to laugh. Then while Scott ate, he noticed that corn was in the steak. "Since when did steak have corn?" Scott asked. "It's there to make this steak special." Logan replied. "Oh well." Scott said as he continued eating the big glob of elephant poo. Then Scott was finished.

"DEOLICIOUS!" Scott said as he was relieved of eating the poo. "I'm glad you liked it." Logan stated. "And I think it's time for the fun to end." Logan added. Then he saw Kurt, Jean, Rogue, Bobby, Gambit, and Peter at the War Room. "Hey guys." Logan said. "Hey Logan." Rogue stated.

Then he walked over to them. "Do you have the antitode?" Logan asked. "We do." Rouge stated. "Good." Logan responded. Then he got the beer bottle containing the antidote, and he walked over to Scott.

"I need you to drink this." Logan stated. Then when Scott saw the beer bottle, he immediately pleaded, "I hate beer. Get it away from me. Get that filth away! Get it away!" Then Scott ran past Logan. Just when he tried to run past the others, Jean telekenitically kept Scott still in mid-air. He was in a cross-like position. Then she gave him to Peter. Then Peter turned into his metal form, and just as Scott tried to break free, he couldn't. "I'm sorry I had to do this." Logan said. "Kiddo, touch him." Logan added. "Okay." Rogue replied.

Then she took off her glove and touched his cheek from behind. Then Scott fell into unconsciousness. But with her side affects, Rogue ended up absorbing Scott's power. "How do I shut this off?" Rogue asked while she was shooting Scott's optic beams. "Wear this." Jean replied as she gave Rogue Scott's glasses. Then Logan poured the antitode into Scott's mouth.

Storm returned from her vacation. Then when she walked to her room, she was in complete shock. "Oh my gosh. Scott blasted my room. How could he do this to me?" Storm said in shock.

Then Prof. X found Storm and escorted her to the War Room. They saw that Scott was unconscious. "Is Scott okay? And why did he destroy my room?" Storm asked. "I pulled this prank on geek boy. He was acting dumb, but he turned into a ladies man as well." Logan responded. "What did you do to him Logan?" Storm asked. "I ended up taking some of Hank's potion, and then I mixed it into Scott's Dr. Pepper, and then Scott drank it." Logan replied. "Okay. I'll forgive you, Kurt, and Scott." Storm replied as she went over to Kurt and hugged him.

As they embraced each other, Kurt said, "I missed you so much." "I missed you to Kurt." Storm added. "I love you Ororo Monroe." Kurt stated. "I love you so much." he added. "I love you too." Storm replied. Then they kissed each other. "Okay. Why don't you two get a room?" Logan said sarcastically. "I'll go with Kurt to his room." Storm replied while she held Kurt. "Swell." Logan stated.

Then on the next day, Scott slept on the mansion's medical bed. Then Jean put on his shades, since Rogue's absorption ended. Scott groaned, and he saw that everyone was there to see him. "Ughhh. What happened?" he asked. "Jean, are you okay?" he asked in a worried tone. "I'm okay, and I'm here." she replied as she held his hand. "The only thing I remember is that I was so intimate with you." Scott stated mildly. "No matter what personality you express, I will always love you." Jean said as she kissed Scott gently.

"Um, can I please say what happened?" Logan asked sarcastically. "Okay Logan." Jean said as she still held Scott's hand. "Cyke, you were dumb for a few days." Logan said. "Okay. I guess it was from the soda I drank." Scott added. "That's true. And you need to give the elephant back its poop." Logan added on sarcastically. "What do you mean?" "You ate a big ounce of poop, and it needs to be returned back to the elephant." Logan explained again. "Say what again?" Scott asked in shock. "You ate a big piece of elephant poo, and you are very funny." Logan stated for the last time. Scott was in so much shock that he screamed, and then he vommited on Kurt. "I am not going to be the same again." Kurt stated as he teleported to the nearest restroom in the mansion.

"I'm just glad your better." Storm said as she patted him. "Thanks." Scott said. Then he hugged Jean. Then Jean said, "There's some pie under your pillow, so you can throw it at Logan." she whispered. "Good." Scott replied in a whispered tone. Then he grabbed the pie and hid it behind his back. Then he sat up, and said, "I have something for you." "What?" Logan asked. "A pepper cream pie." Scott said as he threw it at Logan. "Ah my eyes! My eyes!" Logan pleaded. Then he recovered fast. "Very funny, Cyke. Very funny." Logan said in a funny tone as he walked out of the room. And well everything returned back to normal.


End file.
